Seeing Priscilla

I'll be honest, I wanted to write an article like this when the Barbie movie, by Greta Gerwig, first came out. Hand raised with a hot take, I was someone who liked it, enjoying its satirical and critical take on both hyper-feminism and misogyny. Take away the theatrics, absurdities, and eccentricities, one is forced to come to grips with the way that men, in our sexualized world, dehumanize and objectify women. One of the main ways this has come to show is through the porn industry (PornHub, the leading porn site, has had 42 billion visits in the last 5 years).

Now, while I don't intend to write a full review of Barbie, I will say that one thing I disagreed with Gerwig about was the way that she ended the movie, where it seems that the best solution for men and women (Kens and Barbies) was to separate. From a Christian perspective, what I understand is that men and women weren't created to be separate but to cohabitate, complementing each other in their strengths and weaknesses. The woman was created to be the co-regent and helper of the man (Gen. 2:18). 

Of course, we understand that not every woman serves the same role for every man. One woman is made to serve in the one-flesh marriage relationship for one man. But what about all the other relationships we have with those of the opposite sex? How should we think about those? To answer those questions, I thought it would be helpful to turn to a woman in the New Testament, Priscilla, and see how she was viewed through the eyes of three men: Aquila, Paul, and Apollos.

Through the eyes of Aquila

Whenever we see Priscilla in the NT, we can rest assured that she is never alone. She is always accompanied by Aquila, her husband. What becomes apparent is that Aquila serves both as a partner in life and as a partner in ministry for Priscilla. They serve as a team. 

As a single man, the marriages I often emulate and hope to have are ones in which the husband and wife serve as a team. They always have each other's back and partner together to make Christ's glory shown. Of course, they're sinners. I'm sure Priscilla and Aquila had their differences and often fought, perhaps even in the presence of Paul. Still, the NT makes clear the fact that these two were a team.

Through the eyes of Apollos

Priscilla, alongside Aquila, discipled Apollos, a widely known preacher in the early church. Acts 18:26, the passage states that the couple took the young preacher aside to teach him God's Word more adequately. The fact that Priscilla's name is listed first, like in many other cases, may indicate that she was the one who took the initiative in this endeavor. In a way, she presented herself as a sort of "mother-in-the-faith" to Apollos.

When Paul writes to Timothy, he urges that, in all purity, older women be regarded as mothers (1 Tim. 5:2). Some of the greatest wisdom I've received in life has come from those "Priscillas" who have been a sort of "mother-in-the-faith" to me, providing insight for life's challenges. It may be that young men in the church need to humble themselves and receive wisdom from the older women. I think it's also worth noting that the best discipleship for a young can often be through the tag-team effort of an older couple.

Through the eyes of Paul

To Paul, Priscilla served as a sister and a partner in the faith alongside her husband. As indicated earlier in chapter 18, Priscilla and Aquila accompanied Paul in his travels (vv.18-19). They were fellow tentmakers and partners in the gospel. How strange and ruinous of the name of Christ would it be for Paul to treat Priscilla otherwise? As if she didn't have a husband and as if he were married to her? It seems like a silly question to ask; but if we look at stories of scandal, reproach, and rape both in the culture and the church, we would see men who refused to regard younger women as sisters, in all purity (1 Tim. 5:2).

Now, I speak to the men of my generation when I write on the need to view younger women as sisters. In a sexualized and "pornography-phile" culture, the pursuit of purity for men is arguably more difficult than it ever has been. In a Tinder, PornHub, and OnlyFans culture, the social-imaginary of our world centers around a hyper-sexualized view of both self and others. Establishing boundaries--spiritual, emotional, and physical--to "save oneself for marriage" is seen as taboo and old-fashioned. Young Christian men are thus given the job of fighting an uphill battle in their relationships with young women, dating or otherwise. 

In our sexualized culture, Paul's call to men to view younger women as sisters rings truer and louder today than it ever has. Until the "I dos" have been said, no man has a right to treat a woman as if she were his wife, and vice versa. A man was made to be in a one-flesh covenant relationship with one woman. To build quasi-marriages with several women who should be regarded as sisters tears away at the soul of a man, the dignity of those women, and the fabric of the created order. The one-flesh relationship, which is spiritual and emotional as much as it is physical, should be reserved for the covenant of marriage.